


My Immortal

by WolfenSpirit



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst and Feels, Gen, No Fluff, Yang Xiao Long Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-26 10:07:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20740466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfenSpirit/pseuds/WolfenSpirit
Summary: Yang sits alone at home after the fall of Beacon, watching the snow fall...





	My Immortal

**Author's Note:**

> Has not been edited yet, apologises in advance for typos and other flub-ups.

Lazy snowflakes drifted down from the greyed sky, gently gathering over the already blanketed yard outside of the window Yang was staring out. It had been like this for three days now. Winter had fully set in on the small island of Patch. Not the baleful winds that would howl through the night- a frozen storm of wicked white- but just a slow, constant fall of small crystalline drops. The world outside of the log cabin was muted, solemn as the blonde watching it slumber with dulled grey-purple eyes. It could almost be mistaken as the gentle snowfall sympathizing with Yang.

It only felt like a hollow and empty mockery to her. If it had been a raging storm, furious and whipping the trees in natural rage, she would have something to distract her thoughts from the plague that swirled around her heart and mind. This stillness, however, just echoed her lack of will to keep fighting on anymore.

That was how she felt; an empty echo of the person she used to be before Beacon had been attacked. From the moment she had lashed out at Mercury during the tournament she had felt a growing numbness in her chest fed by anger, pain, confusion, and loneliness. A prickle of self doubt had been growing in her mind about that fight. Had she really seen him attack her like she believed he did? Was it just a trick of her mind: a lie she told herself to make the regret of her angered action that much more bearable?

Ruby had believed her side of things. Ruby had always had faith in her big sister. Blind faith even, and had been quick to reassure Yang. Even if the brawler hadn’t deserved it. She’d let Ruby down, let her team down. She’d gotten them disqualified from the tournament because of a moment of misjudgement. Leftover adrenaline or something, General Ironwood had called it.

Weiss had defended her as well. Hot headed, but not ruthless. Not a monster. The red and white pair had tried to comfort Yang, to make her feel less alone. To help her believe of their faith in her. It had been a balm on her nerves at the time, one she greatly appreciated at the time. She had already known that her scroll was going to be assaulted with negative texts and comments from others she had met during the few months at Beacon. Thankfully she had the sense to turn the device off.

Yang’s fist clenched at the bed sheet covering her lap, corners of her mouth tugging downward. She didn’t want to continue this train of thought. She didn’t want to think about _ her. _ She desperately tried to think of anything but the black haired beauty that haunted her dreams, clawed at her conscious mind every time she let her thoughts stray. Just like every other time, there was no respite from the hailstorm of thoughts that crashed down on her when those glittering golden eyes came to her mind.

Blake hadn't even been able to truly look Yang in the eye after the fight with Mercury. Her lithe body had curled in on itself every time Yang spoke. Her bow straining against the ears that had wanted to flatten in the fear that settled around the faunus whenever Yang got too close. Every one of those actions; sublet and almost unperceivable unless you knew how to read Blake. Nearly a year of working with the faunus in combat meant Yang could see everyone of those. Each minute flinch or wary glance a stabbing dagger through her heart.

Of course the blonde’s thoughts drifted to other memories she had with Blake. The first time Yang had been woken up in the middle of the night by a quietly sobbing Blake in the bunk below her. It was a couple of months into their first semester at Beacon. Yang had always been a light sleeper, her protective nature over Ruby always on high alert in case the redhead had needed her for something. So when she heard the soft crying late that night, she was awake and motherly instincts kicked in almost instantly. Yang had jumped down from her bunk to go and check on Ruby, but when her shuffling had caused the sobbing to be choked into silence, she knew it wasn’t her sister. It took her a couple of seconds to pinpoint the source being Blake, but even then she knew she wouldn’t have been able to just go back to sleep. Not without trying to help.

Blake had flinched when broad palm had first laid on her arm, gently getting her attention as her partner knelt beside her bed. It took a moment of coaxing on Yang’s part, but eventually Blake was sleeping again, listening to soft words being sung in a lullaby as calloused thumb wiped away her stray tears. The faunus had looked so small and fragile that night, huddled in as small of a ball as she could make herself become under the blankets. Yang stayed there for a while, not minding the ache in her knees as she made sure her partner slept peacefully. She didn't know back then that Blake was a faunus. Even when the faunus had accidentally outed herself a couple weeks later the only part that had disturbed Yang was the fact that Blake had felt the need to hide from her. Yang had stayed for a long time that night, gently running her fingers through silken black locks, but never dared touch the bow that had seemed so important to Blake.

Yang felt like a vice had wrapped around her heart at the memory, squeezing painfully tight until a gasped sob escaped her. She quickly fought to suppress the desire to cry again. This is what her life had become since the fall. A back and forth cycle of drowning numbness or overwhelming pain. Her fingers clenched tighter at the blanket on her lap, knuckles popping in at her futile desire to feel anything, even the slightest wavering of a notion that was something new. Unbidden, her mind drifted further to the images that haunted her relentlessly.

Smoke and ash clouded the air around the slowly crumbling building. Panic sank firm fangs into her gut as she looked for her missing teammate. There were Grimm everywhere, shouts of fear and battlecries surrounded her. Yet, they were all muted to her as they weren’t the voice she was looking for. Even though the fear Blake had towards her after the incident with Mercury had felt like burning ice in her veins- to know she was the cause of Blake’s recent flinching and withdrawal- she still cared. She still had to find Blake. To know she was ok. To protect the person Yang had fallen in love with, despite that scaring her. She couldn’t lose the person who had managed to slip between the carefully guarded cracks in her heart. She would fight anything that threatened Blake, the costs of it be damned.

The pained cry struck through Yang cold as lightning. Rage, blinding her sight red as fear brought tears to her eyes. That man, face half covered in a white mask had a godsdamned sword plunged into Blake’s stomach as she laid sprawled out on the ground. All Yang could think about was protecting her, of ending him. She didn’t care if it made her monster. She didn’t care if made the already scornful looks she got all that much more venomous. Blake was hurt. Blake was in danger. Protecting her was all that mattered.

Waking up alone in the hospital had sent panic coursing through Yang. what had happened to Ruby? Was Weiss ok? Had she failed her team yet again and let Blake die? It was a few minutes of her shaking, barely containing her panicked state, before she had realized her arm was even gone. That had barely mattered to her at the moment. Distantly she knew she would eventually be ok. She could come back from that so long as she had help.

It was when Sun told her that Weiss had been taken back to Atlas by her father a few hours before she woke up and that Ruby was in coma a few doors down that she knew something was wrong. 

“What about Blake? Sun, please tell me she’s ok!” Yang remembered nearly sobbing out.

“She… She’s gone, Yang. After we got to the safe zone in Vale she made me promise to stay here until you woke up. And then she ran.”

Yang covered her mouth, eyes squeezed shut as she struggled to keep the sobs contained. She didn’t want to disturb her father with her crying again. Her shoulders shuddered with the effort. Then she remembered that Taiyang had left the morning before to make a few days journey to Vale to help with the clean up efforts. Something he did every other week once Yang had gotten more used to not being alright.

Yang was alone. She was always alone. Surrounded by people in a crowded room and yet no one had ever seen her for who she was. They had only ever seen the mask of the bright smile, flirty jokes, and rough house nature she portrayed. No one ever took the time to really get to know her: no one besides Blake. Blake was gone. She was alone. Yang wrapped her arm around her middle as tears leaked free and she let go of the body wracking sobs she had been holding back.

Ever since Summer had gone that mission all those years ago that she never came back from Yang had been alone. Ruby was just a toddler, to innocent and unaware to know what was going on. Taiyang had shut down for years, emotionally withdrawn and only seemed to ever notice a bottle in his hand at night or the need to work through the days. Raven had never once tried to be around. Uncle Qrow was always far too busy with his huntsmen work or training Ruby to bother with Yang much. Everything always came back to Yang being isolated, never trusting anyone to get too close. No one had ever managed to see past what she wanted the world to see. No one but Blake.

Blake, who Yang would hold at night at Beacon when she woken up shaking from nightmares. Blake, the faunus who poured everything she had into taking down the White Fang and facing her fears. Blake, who given Yang those soft smiles and hold her hand under the table where no one but the two of them would know. Blake had run though. Abandoned Yang just like everyone else in her life did.

Yang could still feel her though, like a shadowed ghost on the fringes of her vision. Hints of gold in the morning sun after sleepless nights. Shadows creeping along the walls as day fell to dusk. Untouched books sat waiting to bed read. Tea left to cool on her bedside table. Everything reminded Yang of Blake. A crushing imprint on her heart and mind; ever lingering presence that time could not erase.

Needles stabbing into broken soul that Yang had left of herself, she remembered how Blake had captivated her. Her elegance and quiet grace. The way she would give a knowing smirk every time she knew something someone else didn’t. The image of calm in the chaos of school life, only to be pushed by passion to reveal how much she truly felt for the things that consumed her brilliant mind. Every reminder felt like a lethal blow to Yang’s crumbling pride. Even the way the snow danced on the whispering winds outside reminded Yang of the way Blake seemed to dance to a tuneless beat on the battlefield.

Yang wanted to turn the pain she felt into hate. If she learned to hate the images that flooded her mind, perhaps that pain would simmer down and she could finally start learning to move on. Not only from the fall of Beacon, from the damage that had been done to her body and soul, but also from the sheer amount of love and adoration she still harboured for the blackened beauty.

Every angered thought she tried to shield herself with cracked with concern. What if Blake ran because that masked male who had stabbed her was chasing her? Was she ok? Was Blake even still alive, or had Yang’s failure that night lead to Blake’s death anyway? The thought of Blake dying made Yang want to be sick. She didn’t need to think like that- she couldn’t think like that.

Blake was safe, somewhere far away from Vale and Yang; she had to be ok. Even if she wasn’t, even if Yang never heard or saw another word from the faunus, she would hold firmly to the belief that Blake had escaped from Beacon and found some place safe to start over a new life. Away from the White Fang, away from the masked demon, away from Yang. It was better for Blake, this way, Yang struggled to reason with herself. Besides, who would ever want to waste their time on a useless cripple who could no longer fight? Who needed help just to get dressed or shower? Blake ran: away from the guilt that was Yang. It hurt Yang to know that she had been rendered truly a pathetic and worthless shell of what was once a person.

She knew she would do it all over again if it meant Blake could be free. Yang tried to hate to Blake for running, for abandoning her, but she really couldn’t blame her. Not for the loss of her arm. Not for the ache that took the place in Yang’s chest where Blake’s smile had once been. Not for running when Yang became just a needless burden.

Yang had tried to hate Blake. She really tried. Even when the faunus was an unknown distance from that cold, isolated house on Patch, she still had all of Yang’s heart. She would always have the ability to make or break Yang. Yang's love for the ravenette was immortal. It probably didn’t even matter at all to Blake now that Yang was meaningless to her. For some reason, Yang found a coldly calm acceptance of that.

There was nothing she could do anymore. Nothing left for her to do. So Yang did the only thing she had left, and cried. Weakly pulling her knees up to her chest, she buried her fingers in her unkempt golden locks and let herself weep for everything she had lost in her life for what seemed like the millionth time in the last couple of months. Each salty tear dripped down her pale cheeks, dark spots littering the blanket like freshly fallen snow...

**Author's Note:**

> I heard the song "My Immortal" play on YouTube and I was struck with this idea. Sorry, not sorry. Have some feels on me :3


End file.
